The wonderful men of SAF

When i first enlisted to NS, countless of pple tell say,
"Ok lar...go NS, tough tough, nevermind. Finish NS become a man."

So did the Lieutenant Colonel, during my enlistment day.
"Your sons will make the passage through Army, to be transformed from boys to men."

After his "Parents! Don't worry! Your boys are in good hands, and we will turn them into respectable honourable men that our nation will be proud of!! RELAX"

Once the parents have disappeared. This is wat was yelled to us.
"GENTLEMEN!! YOU ARE NO LONGER CIVILIANS! YOU ARE SOLDIERS!! AS SOLDIERS YOU WILL ONLY TAKE ORDERS AND WILL ASK FOR PERMISSION! SO! IF YOU WANT TO FUCKING GO TOILET! YOU ASK YOUR IN CHARGE! IS THAT CLEAR?!"

Wow...i feel like a man already........

I personally feel that this "BECOME A MAN" cockanaden bullshit is a fusion of clever propaganda as well as the very sheltered lifestyles most local boys have. HOWEVER, this still does not give them the right to be so irritatingly NAIVE!! Just because they are mentally having the toughest part of their childish little lives they think they automatically turn into men?! In a span of 3 months?! LAN PAH. Army does not produce men from boys. They just turn boys into obedient boys. Obedient boys that will literally urinate on command.

So how DO you become a man? To me.....being a man requires only ONE criteria. A man must be able to stand on his own 2 feet, whatever the situation, environment or place. Needless to say, i'm no man, but FUCKING HELL, unlike 90% of my company mates, i am no spoilt retarded boy with a comfort blanket up my ass!

Moving on to retarded boys. The most retarded statement i heard so far was.
"Don't touch the bayonet blade! Its poisonous......its made up of lead. So don't touch it."
Needless to say, the most retarded answer, was the answer to that question, which was,
"Orrrrhhhh. OK! EH! LISTEN UP! The blade poisonous! Don't touch!"

I wanted to say "Dun be a fucking idiot of a monkey backside can? If i shove the bayonet up ur ass, do you think you'll die of bleeding or die from lead poisoning?"

But no...i decided instead to shut the fuck up, and continue banging my head into the wall.

The other cockanaden incident came from my Sergeant, who ANNOUNCED that the parade square is the most sacred of all grounds in the armed forces. HOWEVER, when i asked him, "If the parade square is so sacred....then why no one cleans away the dog shit in it?" (And trust me...there is DAMN a lot of shit. The square might be 'sacred' to the SAF, but the dogs use it as their toilet.) NEedless to say, i knocked it down 20, and it was the easiest 20 push-ups i did...ever. :)

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HAIZ....NS...... i don't miss my secondary school days anymore, cos being in the Army is EXACTLY the same as being 14. And like secondary school, there are a few who are decent and generally not retarded. Luckily, most of them are in my section. One of them, is this really religious malay guy, who i fucking respect the MOST. He is THE most mature person i ever met. MATURE i say....not UNCLE (which a lot of my older friends are...:P) Apparently he got super bloody mature so fast due to poor financial situation that forced him to work and study since he was 15. I can safely say that he is THE ONLY man in the whole bloody company. Actually, i think of my section of 12, only 3 of them are slightly "off", and another being a total defect of a human being. 4 out of 12. Not bad lar.....very good already. Its really only because of my section that i am having some fun out there is hot dusty Tekong.

Actually, besides my chimpanzee brained platoon mates, and waking up at 5 fucking am, the only significant thing depressing me is MY FITNESS! I STILL CAN'T DO 1 PULL UP!!! And i did so little running in the past 6 yrs...my shins hurts like SIAO whenever i run now. haiz....luckily, the stations that i DO pass, i got gold. So just bloody 2.4 and chin ups. I got a letter from a doctor today, so i will be excused lower limbs for a week. Hopefully after my shins heal i'll run well.

Well ok lar....more stories and photos in the next post. Time to play with my doggies while i still can. :) Catch up soon! AND KAREN! CALL ME WHEN U ARRIVE!